fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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