It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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