What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
