Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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