those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
