dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
