is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
