I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
