Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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