Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
