capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
