worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
