You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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