Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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