its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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