Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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