Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
