make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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