I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize