I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
