She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
