so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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