Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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