ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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