I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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