SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
