You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
