oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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