I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
