i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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