standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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