It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
