If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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