Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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