I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
