Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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