see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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