so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize