he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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