He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle