Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"

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(914): View more from New York

I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".

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(858): View more from California

I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(561): View more from Florida

how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken

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(972): View more from Texas

I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.

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(415): View more from California

Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle

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