did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off