I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.