Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

youre lurking in front of me

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?

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(510): View more from California

Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(252): View more from North Carolina

Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning

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(240): View more from Maryland

Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care

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(914): View more from New York

When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.

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