i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.