Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
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Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
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Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.