I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been