I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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