Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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