$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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