Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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