would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize