i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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