I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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