Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
