Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
