i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
