she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
