Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
