It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
