Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
