That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
