Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
