and you said cock pushups were impossible
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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