I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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