He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on