We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She announced her abortion via fbk
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.