i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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