What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
